Apple “Savings” Accounts. Just Marcus With Dependency on iPhones.

The news is hyping Apple Savings accounts, which are just Goldman Sachs, which runs Marcus.

So the accounts are similar to Marcus and Goldman had to explain to investors that they don’t think there will be serious “cannibalization” of existing clients.

A lot of iPhone users wouldn’t know anything about savings if it came up and bit them on the ass.

I mean, how many competent, dedicated, militant “savers” out there, buy a phone that is twice as expensive as a comparable Android at any “tier” and then signs up for a Savings Account that stops working if they get rid of the stupid iPhone?

You can sign up for a Marcus account and manage it in a Web browser, on Windows, Linux, a Mac, a Chromebook, an Android, and yes, even an iPhone. If you change tech at some point, you won’t need to worry about what happens to your Savings account and your deposits and everything else.

It’s not even like there are any advantages, like a super attractive rate. They only advertise 4.15%, which is easy to get on a Savings or Money Market account at other banks.

Money Market accounts, which are even better than Savings Accounts, have some features of Checking accounts, such as debit cards and checks. My online bank will even give me free books of checks, while most banks charge.

(The reason it pays Savings-like interest or better is you’re limited to six transfers out each month, which are any combo of written checks, debit purchases, and transfers to another account, but you get unlimited ATM withdraws.)

And with Apple, you aren’t even guaranteed that you will earn 4.15%, because Savings, Checking, and Money Market accounts are variable interest. The rate could go down before you even make your initial deposit.

As things stand, Apple’s Savings rates are only the 11th highest out of all online banks with a Savings Account.

Why shouldn’t you keep lots of money in Savings or Money Market?

You shouldn’t keep more than about 90 days worth of spending in a Money Market or Savings because of the unpredictable rate of interest (variable) and the fact that it’s not even the best rate you can get with good liquidity (access to your money).

I’ve been buying up No Penalty CDs with an 11 month fixed rate of between 4.8% and 5% in amounts of about $1,000 at a time (so I don’t have to break them and take all the money later if I only need a little). They’re super easy to set up, and they’re guaranteed to pay that rate for 11 months. If the rates go down for “Apple Savings” and other deposit account customers, too bad so sad. It doesn’t affect me. I still make the agreed upon rate.

If rates go up, I redeem the CD early, with no penalty, and then buy another one that starts over at the higher rate for an 11 month term.

Either way, I win, and Apple “Savers” lose.

The Apple Savings account is nothing spectacular. I think it’s just another way to trap people on hideously overpriced limited phones and make the pain of leaving (having to switch “banks”) higher. It’s a roach motel.

What are the benefits? You can tap your phone like an idiot, because you are an idiot, while the checkout machine goes “BONK BONK BONK ERROR BONK BONK!” and I’m in line behind you getting angrier?

Yeah.

Purchasing Certificates of Deposit to Hedge Against Inflation (And a Little More.)

Today I got a letter from my bank in an email.

They said I could get a fairly good (4.75%) rate on an 11 month no-penalty CD.

I’ve never bought CDs before. I have some Treasury Bonds that I bought last year while inflation was raging and before the Federal Reserve raised rates pretty high.

Now, if I buy new Series I Savings Bonds they only start out paying 6.48%.

They do have a higher interest rate than the no penalty CD, but the bonds are less liquid.

If I buy a bunch of bonds and need the cash, there’s just no way to get that back out of the Treasury Direct account until 12 months have gone by, and there’d be a 3 month interest penalty if I didn’t wait 5 years.

So going forward on fixed-income investments for now, I still want to play it safe and will tolerate this slightly lower rate of return lending my money to the bank.

I only have to let them hold it for 7 days each time I buy a CD and then I can cash it all out, with interest, and no harm done, if the SHTF later and I need access to a lot of money.

The news says that people are yanking their bank deposits and going “all in” on Treasury Notes, but to be honest, today’s rates on Treasury Securities are just not blowing my skirt up considering the kind of liquidity I want out of this.

I’m going the opposite direction and doing bank deposits now because they’re still very liquid and earning “enough”.

What disasters could be out there? I don’t know. There’s Corporate America, even Walmart(!) doing mass layoffs while the government and the new lie to everyone to keep them calm and under control.

There’s the fact that the Republicans in Congress (seem to be) serious about defaulting on the national debt and playing “Who gets screwed the worst?” and their plan is to pay China. They’re planning to prioritize payments to China. What do you think they’re going to do with your Savings Bonds?

My reading of the SVB, Silvergate, and Signature collapse is that the government must be broke as Hell because when have you ever seen the US federal government tell the bankers and the investors in those banks that they’re going to eat their own shit instead of Congress bailing them out and borrowing from China to do it?

I was reading an article about Crocs (the alleged shoes) today that I was sharing with Roy in TechRights IRC.

In this article, a woman was boasting about how many pair of Crocs she owned and how she was getting her kids into it too. Just hundreds of Crocs. The Imelda Marcos of Crocs, I guess. Imelda on TikTok with Crocs.

I started thinking to myself “Goddamn these people are dumb.” because when you lose your job in the mass layoffs that both are and are not happening, what will you pay your bills with?

I doubt your landlord or the supermarket wants your blinged out pile of Crocs.

So I’m in a holding pattern with my savings.

The stock market hasn’t returned anything significant in a long time. I read another article that Americans are tearing into their retirement accounts, and are projected to drain $750 billion of their retirement money and their children’s birthrights to buy, Crocs and standing two hours in each line at Disney World, I guess?

You can’t replace actual fiscal security with trinkets and “experiences”.

I don’t know what kind of experience Disney is these days. I’ve heard from other people who are still paying the prices, which have quadrupled since I was there, along with the lines, that the “magic” is gone. I talked to Roy about this too. How in the 90s, when the US was a largely middle class country with opportunities, and Disney was an affordable getaway. It was pricey, sure, but it wasn’t like $8,000 for a couple of weeks.

That’s before you even get me started on what a fascist dump Florida itself is, with Ron DeMentis down there trolling people. You don’t want my gay tourist money? That’s fine.

Tour your own state! Illinois may not have a lot of star attractions, but it has nice things to do, and can be very economical.

I do know one thing. I’d much rather be hiking than standing in line in some increasingly sketchy theme park, in the middle of America’s Russia, with swamp ass, paying $20 for a hotdog.

Anyway, so some of my family members are at Disney World as I write this.

They go 2-3 times a year. Meanwhile, back in reality, people are standing outside the local conviction mill, I mean debtors prison, I mean, totally fair US court operated under the highest standards of legal ethics in the world, waiting to take their turn for garnishment. They’re in Florida not even bothering to defend themselves, so each of the “creditors” just takes turns getting whatever it wants in default judgments.

(I don’t know if they have any Crocs though.)

In this environment, I have just totally clamped up except my continued vice of going out to eat, on my restaurant rewards credit card (which I pay off immediately, and usually only if there’s another special coupon offer).

I’ve been tapping into those gas rewards apps, like Upside, and stacking my gas credit card on top, so I get about 7% on that back.

Then I have a 2% on everything card, for the other bills.

If you do it right, the rewards from the credit card schemes (which are typically funded by people paying cash and not paying their cards off…but don’t hate the player, hate the game!) will go right back into your Savings account and help fund more Savings Bonds or CDs.

When you cushion yourself with savings, and life happens, it’s more like pulling out your checkbook and gritting your teeth instead of sweating bullets. Where you’ll die if they cut your spouse’s hours this week or if the dog gets sick. (Or if you get sick.)

You should never ever spend money unless you are just overflowing with savings and have no debts, and then maybe if you want to splurge a bit. Many people in America don’t want to do any of the hard work so when they’re in debt and they want to spend, they just take on more debt.

I mean, Congress is talking about taking a meat cleaver to Social Security and Medicare and they’re not even being subtle about it, and here’s all these people about to drain $750 billion from their retirement accounts so they can stand in line to go on whatever they’re calling Splash Mountain now.

Congress isn’t even hiding that they don’t care if you die in old age from running out of money, and we’re off to see some sweaty pervert in a mouse costume.

Roy and I talked some about SVB going under.

All those people driving up in Teslas (keeping up appearances) to bang on the glass of a failed bank.

My opinion, not Roy’s, is that being based in California and some of the “DEI” crap on their Web site was the first clue that the bank was up to some sketchy shit.

A bank should make profit and protect depositors. Not throw $75 million at a bail “charity” that springs murderers and people who torch my spouse’s workplace and run out with some televisions.

I keep my money in FDIC insured accounts, at a well capitalized bank, that doesn’t charge fees, and has assets underneath the bank that I am fairly confident in.

I’m not really getting the vibe that this bank is under-capitalized, stupidly managed, has millions going out the door for liberal hogwash, etc. If it was, 100% of my money is in the statutorily defined deposit insurance limit, and would be available to me again days later.

To an extent, we’re all at the mercy of others.

In my case, usually people who are over-educated in all of the ways that don’t apply to a life situation and want their student loans forgiven while they drive to a failed bank in a Tesla to bank on the glass. That’s in-between trips to Disney.